Saturday, August 31, 2013

The Illusion of the Weekend

**I'm so excited to announce that I've started a youtube channel discussing everything home making. My channel name is Surviving As Mom.  Check it out!!

I used to get excited for the weekend.  The plan was to get things done that I couldn't do during the week.  Usually because I needed my husband home so he could keep the kids occupied so I could focus on the task at hand.  I'd also plan to run errands on the weekends.  However, this was never the case.  The illusion that I'd get more done during the weekend than during the week.  This is what I refer to as "The Illusion of the Weekend".

It took me about 3 1/2 years to acknowledge and accept this fact.  Because instead of accomplishing XYZ on the weekend, I'd end up worse off than where I started.  I found that when hubby was home, I'd get less accomplished and the house would be messier than it was on Friday afternoon.

Most, if not all of my errands are done on the weekends, when they actually get done.  This is simply because it's just faster and less stressful to me than bringing 2 preschoolers and a toddler to multiple stops with me.  Between getting in and out of the car, strapping them in the car seats, opening and closing the stroller, constantly reminding them to stay near me, telling them "no" every time they insist that we need to buy something stupid, and just being distracted by 3 complaining children, it is just too much headache to bring them with me.  To run errands, I generally leave them home with my husband and I get about 3 hours of freedom to hit as many stops as I can squeeze in.  Although, many times hubby likes to make it a family event and we spend the majority of the day making multiple stops with the entire family.  Sometimes I feel as though my husband is just another kid to control.  Many times I find him dilly-dallying with toys and electronics while I'm trying to hurry up and accomplish something.

Any big projects I plan for the weekend usually get pushed off or only partially done.  Maybe I want to clean out my basement.  Or redo my landscaping.  Maybe I want to clean out my closets and purge all unused clothing.  It could even be as simple as filing away all of my important papers.  It just usually doesn't happen.  Sometimes it's my own laziness and sometimes it's just a lack of time and cooperation.  If I'm lucky, maybe I'll get two of those things done this year.  I have big dreams, but not much time or energy to accomplish them.  Quite frustrating!

I also have to fight with my husband for time for tasks.  He does most yard work, such as mowing the lawn, week control, garbage control, and just general maintenance.  Many times I'll request a few hours for something and he'll fire back with "Well I have to do xyz", so I end up having to push off my needs so he can do his thing.  However, this wouldn't be an issue if he learned a little time management.  He likes to sit around being lazy until 2pm until he decides to start his work.  Meanwhile, all those hours have been wasted.  That is precious time that I could have gotten something done.  I have tried to share the time and suggest that I will do my stuff early while he watches the kids, then he can do his thing later when he's ready.  He doesn't see it as me trying to compromise because I'm met with resistance.  In his mind, somehow, this will prevent or delay him from doing his stuff.  It's so frustrating!!

Don't get me wrong, my husband is wonderful.  He works very hard every day to provide for and take care of his family.  He is also kind enough to get up with the kids so I can sleep in a few hours on the weekends.  He is entitled to a day (or 2) of rest.  I get lazy some days too and don't want to do anything.  However, when his laziness interferes with my job of maintaining our home, it irritates me a bit.  I feel that most times when I try to encourage or motivate him to do something, he just complains and resists.  I feel like I'm pulling teeth sometimes.  Even something like trying to take the kids out for a few hours to do something fun like go to the park or a local fair, I have to really push him.  Oh well, no one is perfect!

Now I'll complain about myself...
I find that I tend to be a little lazier and more lax when he's home.  I get less cleaning done, just because, and the house gets quite messy.  I can't explain it.   Hubby's presence also naturally contributes to the mess and I am less motivated to clean up after one more person.  The kids make a bigger mess, the sink fills with dishes faster, the laundry piles up quicker and it makes me want to do less and less.  My habit of doing a little each day (during the week) completely disappears on the two "S" days.  It's a strange thing.

Then there are of course, those days when we are not home because we have an event with family or friends.  I don't even bother with those days.  It's obvious that I'm gonna be too tired to do anything when we get home.

Now that I've finally accepted all of these facts, I've learned to make the weekend my days of rest too.  If the opportunity presents itself to take on a task, then I will.  However, most times, its a crapshoot!  So  I deal with it and move it.  That's life.  Just go with it!